But expectations for modern relationships have evolved in the intervening years. We hold our relationships to higher standards than we have in previous decades. In particular, couples now expect their relationships to promote personal growth and help individuals fulfill their own goals. For example, your partner should help you become a better person by teaching you new things like how to make the perfect creme brulee, taking you places like the cool new trampoline park and opening your eyes to new perspectives such as the benefits of eating a more vegetarian-based diet.
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Although this expectation for growth could conceivably place an unwieldy burden on your relationship, researchers believe that modern relationships are up to the task. In fact, the idea that a relationship can help an individual become a better person, a phenomenon that researchers call self-expansion , is a useful one; relationships that provide more expansion are also of higher quality.
In order to hit all these self-improvement targets, you may need more from a spouse or romantic partner than was expected in years past — and a partner who is also your best friend may be a step in the right direction. Think of it this way: We wanted to see if these best-friend romances were really better. This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships with more companionate love — based on friendship, feelings of affection, comfort and shared interests — last longer and are more satisfying.
Other research shows that those in friendship-based love relationships feel they have a highly likable partner, and that shared companionship is an important part of the love. A study of married individuals revealed that those with higher scores on the friendship-based love scale also reported more relationship satisfaction, greater perceived importance of the relationship, greater respect for their spouse, and felt closer to their spouse.
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More recently, across two studies with nearly participants in relationships, those who place more value on the friendship aspect of their relationship also report more commitment, more love and greater sexual gratification. In addition, valuing friendship also decreased the chances of the couple breaking up. Best-friend love is starting to sound better and better. All of these benefits are backed up by accounts from a special type of relationship expert: When researchers asked over of these couples about their secret to relationship success and longevity, what was the number one reason?
The second most common response was liking their spouse as a person, another key facet of friendship-based love.
Are best-friend partners better partners?
These findings demonstrating the benefits of dating or marrying your best friend make perfect sense when you consider the type of relationship best friends share. You can look forward to seeing how they change and grow now they are together. You state in your letter how you care for them both. Put your energies into your own life and maintaining a good relationship with them both. Follow her on Twitter drpetra. Petra cannot offer individual responses or answer every single question.
Please note that by submitting your question to Petra, you are giving your permission for her to use your question as the basis of her next column, published online at Wonder Women. She may not be able to tell you that she is using your question, but will try to email you the reply if she does. All questions will be kept anonymous and key details, facts and figures may change to protect your identity.
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Monday 14 January My best friend's just started dating my brother. A recipe for disaster, no? Not Helpful 15 Helpful If they break up, consider asking your friend if he or she would mind if you asked your crush out.
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If your friend understands, you may be able to date your crush without causing any problems between you and your friend. If not, you will need to consider whether or not you are willing to go against your friend's wishes. Not Helpful 14 Helpful What if you asked out your crush and they said they weren't ready to date, but then your friend convinces your crush to go out with them? Your crush may genuinely want to date your friend, and if you care about your crush's feelings you may want to step back and allow them to see where their relationship goes.
My best friend's just started dating my brother. A recipe for disaster, no? - Telegraph
VY Vance Yang Aug 29, This article made me realize that my crush and I really weren't meant to be, and that she and my friend are good for each other. Although it may be hard it's good to move on but as I do, I should also think positive again. Thank you for the great article. A Ana Apr 10, He replied with this: I hope you understand.
My best friend's just started dating my brother. A recipe for disaster, no?
RF Ryan Flores May 6, I had a crush on her, but so did he. I felt heartbroken and sad, but reading this article makes me understand what to do about my crush and my best friend. MB Mackenzie Brassy Oct 5, A Anonymous May 3, This helped me to focus on myself and attempt to cope with the way it felt. A Anonymous Mar 11, A Anonymous Oct 14, My friend would ask someone I like out, but they might break up so I will probably get a chance. CH Caleb Harvey Apr 5, This made me feel sad, angry, upset. This article helped me cope with this. LS Lilly Singh Nov 16, I greatly appreciate the help, and I'm sure everyone else does too.
JS Jessie Solayzia Mar 1, I now feel a bit better about myself! HD Hannah Davis Sep 12, A Anonymous Jun 19, SK Spokie Koen Jul 19, A Anonymous Nov 29, A Anonymous Apr 14,
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